Found!

The last blog I started last year was about finding me. Somewhere, somehow I found myself along the way. I do see that I got lost in the Hohumm of life. I currently think I found myself again for a few reasons, one that I don't have to rely on anyone else to make enough money to support me. Don't get me wrong I understand that in life two people should support each other especially if they want to live together. Although out of trying to depend on certain people in my life, I realized just how often I was the go to person to fix things, and that my thinking of i help you, you help me philosophy didn't work at all. I saw things that when i needed them to do get done they would be done recklessly, trash talked or just plane not done at all. I also still see this happening now but I'm no longer as upset by this, I pray that maybe next time they'll listen or when they see me asking less that they will realize that I don't have time to waste on waiting for them. I see myself growing each day because each day is a new challenge for me. Now with one roommate doing truck driving as his profession and he's been out of the house for 2 weeks I feel like that part of my life if finally over and I can move onto something better. I've talked before about the guy at my job who I prayed about, weather he was the Man or Carrot, I thought I got an answer to that because he stated flirting with me on a more personally level. Although he's hardly spoken to me the last few days I feel that it is where I'm supposed to go, well so I think right now, but that we just need to talk face to face about what we are really looking for and want from each other. I now see that sometimes you have a need that is to be filled by one person no matter how complicated or weird things seem to others that its works for you. As this man is for me, he makes me Happy even thought there really isn't words to describe how or why he just makes me smile every time he flirts with me or just pushes my buttons, and I love every minute of it. I'm so excited to get what I've been praying for. I'm coming off that moment when you realize you got what you asked for and for a second you think of asking yourself now what but think better of it because your just gonna let God take it over, because you asked him to get you there. The other reason I think i found myself this last year is that I actually found a church where I get what is being preached about and I can apply it to my life!!! before i have felt like i was missing the whole point because i couldn't totally understand the sermon. I'm grateful for being invited and made to feel part of the family. I know God sent me to my new job for some purpose but I'm not sure it been carried out, but they're not giving me the position I've been asking for, and they keep evolving and so the standards i was trained with are mostly obsolete which makes me stressed out and feel like I should go back to my old job, which they say they'd take me back, but according to the paperwork I'm still employed there even though i don't get my discount because the computer says in no longer work there...lol talk about a mess.. well I feel a tad better getting to write again I'm excited to see where I go, this year on this new walk. I'm ready for whatever it is because i know God will get me though.